Saturday, 31 January 2009


Now then folks. I am glad to be able to make my first post about Vaults. Lazy Eye Management recently took Vaults on and things have been ticking on nicely. We've had them out and about playing here and there most notably as support on the Babyshambles / Roger Daltrey show. We've taken on an agent Matt Bates,, and we now have a rather nice UK tour to announce. The tour being,

5/2/, Club NME, Derby.
6/2, Inside Out, Darlington.
19/2, New Slang, Kingston.
22/2, Shockwaves NME Awards (w/ Peter Doherty), Shepherds Bush Empire.
27/2, Trojan Rooms, Whitley Bay.
28/2, Lamp, Hull.
5/3, The Royal, Derby.
12/3, Club NME, Hitchin.
19/3, The Tower, Winchester.
21/3, Escobar, Wakefield.

We're hoping for some special guest action on some of these dates so watch this space for more info.

Wednesday, 28 January 2009

Random Rubbish, my dinner, football hooligans, eczema and Facebook nazis (not in that order).

I had a wonderful dinner tonight and I needed it. My new found fitness regime is beginning to have some effect and my appetite has increased dramatically as a result. Burning all those extra calories requires replacing all those used calories. SO. Tonight I had roast beef with mashed potatoes & turnip with brocolli on the side, a pancake, two bags of crisps and some toffee. I'm still hungry. I also had an orange and some grapefruit juice .... Pamplemouuussssseeeee!

I also found out today that I have eczema. Yay! Another disease to riddle me. Well I'm exaggerating slightly. I do have eczema but oddly enough only on the back of my knees. So I guess I'm quite lucky compared to some and I rarely wear shorts, in fact I never wear shorts, so I won't be embarrassed in public. If I did wear shorts people would probably spend more time laughing at my pipe cleaner legs to even notice the slight blemishes on the back of my knobblers. The doctor was cool about it and prescribed me some creams to ease my pain. I picked them up from the chemist this afternoon and one of them was a big, fuck off, pump action bottle of moisturiser! Enormous! I now own a 1 kg pump action bottle of moisturiser! Get me! Yeah mate! How big's your pump action bottle of moisturiser? I'm going to be the moistest man on the damn planet! I was messing about with it for the first time and it ejaculated a blob of the lotion six feet across the room and got all over my coat. I'm going to have to be be careful with this one I can tell, especially as the coat was a slightly grubby Mackintosh. I'm also dumbfounded how I'm going to get it on the plane on Saturday. Is medicine exempt from the 'no fluids' rule? I'll probably also get charged excess luggage knowing my luck because my pump action bottle of moisturiser is so FUCK OFF BIG!

Did you see how I managed to drop in subtly that I am indulging in a bit of jet-setting there? Yes, I am off on a little trip which promises to be quite fun. A perk of the job one may say. It's not all a jolly though, there's some serious goals to be achieved which could pay off nicely in the long run for everyone. That's why I am so happy with my healthy living routine. I wake up bright and early now full of beans and get a good night sleep because I seem to get most, if not all, of my daily tasks accomplished. I am really looking forward to this year and in years to come I hope I can say that it's been one of the best of my life. Jings, the optimism glands are certainly pumping tonight.

I'd better try and find something to be miserable about .... ehm .... hmmmn. I cannae. How odd. I might just watch the news. That's bound to work. I saw in the papers yesterday that Greater Manchester Police have published CCTV images of the Glasgow Rangers 'fans' seen to be responsible for the worst of the rioting in Manchester. How must those guys feel? In the shite now boys eh? I think it's disgraceful the way they shamed their club, Scottish football and their country. I'm not just saying that as a Celtic fan because I am all too aware that Celtic have some right bams follow them too. It's all too easy to say "oh aye those Huns cannae behave anywhere etc etc, blah blah blah" but at the heart of it it's not a football problem as these people don't deserve to be called football fans. It's a fuckwit problem because these people really do earn the right to be called fuckwits, dolts, neds .... scum basically. We did a show in Manchester on the Saturday after the match and the concierge at the hotel was a fellow Scot. I asked him about the events and all he could do was grimace and shake his head sadly. Such a shame that a club and a country can be tarred with their brush.

Speaking of dolts .... I received a facebook group invitation last night from someone who'd joined the management company's page and to all intents and purposes described himself as a fan of one of the band's I manage. I really thought social networking sites could / should be more responsible, the group was a thinly disguised, well not even actually disguised, far right / Nazi / BNP shower of tinpot Hitlers saying that england should be for the english and immigrants were not welcome in the green and pleasant land. Now, this quite perturbed me. As a Scot with a home in London, should I pack me bags and leave it to the master race or should I delete the numbnut who sent the invitation and leave some fruity messages on the group message board. I flipped a coin and it came up tails (sorry Lizzie, didn't quite work out) and chose the latter. Deletion done I prepared to spit some bile .... disappointment followed. I'd have to join the group in order to make a comment, foiled

Actually here's some info on these charmers.
The group is called (their grammar and spelling, not mine) ....

"no more immigrants england is full fuck off elsewhere !!!"

Enticing eh?
The man who invited me to join this band of merry Nazis first name was, and this is true, Egg!
What were his parents thinking? Did they name him after what they had for breakfast as they coo'ed over young Egg wrapped in swaddling. Fuckwits beget fuckwits! Sorry for the profanity but it makes me feel big and tough. Which came first the fuckwit or the egg? Perhaps it's a nickname? Who knows? How do you eventually come to be nicknamed Egg though? What childhood prank or adventure earns you that nickname? The mind boggles. I wonder if he thinks it's cool?

There's some more real gems on here, let me pick a few rough diamonds for example.
Again the spelling and grammar is not mine.

"English citizens are born here so they have more rights to scronge"
I thought scronging was outlawed in the 14th century.

"anybody found insulting people about their spelling and grammer will also be removed this is a group where you can write your posts as you wish ,this is not an English lesson"
Not too sure where to start with that one. I thought it was all about the English, I thought that was the point. Good to see they're not prejudiced against those good and true stout Englanders who can't even write their own fucking language properly. Nice to know that you're free to insult whole races and ethnicities but woe betide you and may God strike you down if you point out that grammer is actually spelt grammar. Didn't Pol Pot have a 'thing' about literacy as well as some of his other foibles.

Oh, there's too many of them and it's getting late but I'll leave you with this one which doesn't really have anything to make fun of but kind of sets the tone for the high level, cerebral debating style of the groups members.

"put em all on a slow boat to china,the fuckers just take the piss out of our country,constantly...parasites the lot of em...."
That was from Dean Carsley in the West Midlands. Seems like a nice chap.
Do these immigrants never sleep or do they take the piss out of the country in a sort of ungrateful relay to ensure that the piss-taking remains constant?

That's what I love about racists (and I am generalising here) .... they all seem to be simpletons.
Take the village idiot, tell him he's the master race and you're off and running with the fourth reich.

I know they want to keep (and kick) others out of 'their' country but I don't want them in mine!
Does that make me racist?

p.s. The people responsible for this group also have another belter called,
This one is all about how Bobby (The Ox) got beaten up by a working girl in Thailand. It's quite interesting and has lots of stuff about penises in it. Bobby (The Ox) as you may imagine has very little hair and a very, thick neck.

Tuesday, 27 January 2009

I Miss You.

See you on the other side my friend.
You'll always be in my heart.
There are no washing machines in heaven.
Seventy two low temperature hand-washing virgins await you in paradise.

Classroom Capers With Hunter And Ficek.

Adam and myself actually headed back into the classroom yesterday for a bit of a talk with the students on the James Watt College Music Business and Performance HND course. I won't go into the condition of my belly after a gargantuan lunch but suffice to say I was sated. However if my belly business is of interest to you scroll down to a previous post.

The task myself and Adam had yesterday was to chat about our experiences of the music business to the next generation as such. Bearing in mind these young coves were spending their time and money studying the subject and seem to wish to plan their future careers in the business it was best that we kept it light.

It didn't take to long to get dark though.

It don't take a monkey to work out (or even simply notice) that the music business is in a state of turmoil at the moment. It's as clear as the nose on your face. The majors are downsizing and outsourcing, purse strings are tightening, shareholders are worrying .... we have the downturn in the economy to deal with, the homogenisation of radio and music tv, the Russians are coming, the world going to be invaded by giant ants from Mars blah blah blah!

My take on it is that from primitive times man has always sought rhythm and melody and always will whatever the source. So if the traditional record companies are finding it tight then they're going to have to bend with the wind and adapt .... it's called evolution. Some may go the way of the Caribbean Monk Seal, the last lonely one of whom breathed it's last in 1952 poor bleeder, while some may adapt and grow stonger. In my experience though having worked at independents and majors is that the bigger the beast the slower it reacts which may be good for music as a whole as the independents may have the chance thrive.

Well that's what I told the students anyway, I obviously didn't want to paint the picture of one massive, multinational dictating everything we listen to kind of like an horrific, all encompassing factory complex churning out several different shades of shite .... but all shite nevertheless.

We also tried to instill a bit of Dunkirk spirit into the business students in that they're actually in the right place at the right time when all of these changes are taking place. Nowadays record and publishing companies love their intern programmes and their little bits of paper which say that Joe Bloggs has studied the music business. Who gives a toss really about whether you have studied the business if you have ears made of cloth though?

All the great old labels which sadly were at some point were started by mavericks .... Motown (Berry Gordy), Island (Chris Blackwell), Virgin (yes Branson too back in the day), Creation (McGee), Atlantic (Ahmet Ertegun) .... the list goes on.

Sorry, I am rambling a bit off and on point here but it's my blog and I'll do what I bloody well like!

Where was I? Oh yes, we did try and be positive for the students and I think we did succeed to a certain extent .... a little at least. Yeah, we did! Those fresh faced little cherubs have it all in front of them and if they have the ears and drive to match the qualification there's no reason why they can't succeed. I just hope they don't go to the dark side too soon!

Now, back to my belly. Dinner is on the table. I may come back later to amend, add and update this blog because I think I rambled incoherently and it doesn't make for sensible reading. I know what I mean though and that's what counts innit? Issit?

Lucky Red Jumper RIP.

My lucky red jumper has been done in and put out to pasture. Foul play is suspected. More news after I have conducted a thorough investigation.

Investigation and autopsy complete. It appears that a crack hit team of my maw and her washing machine decided to do the old jumper in using persil and a high temperature wash. She wasn't too healthy I grant you but that's no excuse for involuntary  euthanasia!

Betty's denying all knowledge of the heinous crime but I've seen the way she's been looking at the LRJ! Sheer loathing and undisguised hatred .... She waited until I was off away for a couple of days and then pounced with no mercy! What a way to go, brings a tear to my eye.

It also throws up disturbing new evidence regarding my missing favourite jeans, the one's with the holes in the knees and the threadbare arse. It's thumbscrews and a beating on the soles of the maw's feet tonight then!

The lucky red jumper is dead! Long live the lucky lime green v-neck!

Funeral is in my room 27th January.
Close friends and family only.
No flowers.

Monday, 26 January 2009

My Generation: Babyshambles & Roger Daltrey.

After hours of messing about and days of therapy to rid myself of my innate technophobia I have finally worked out how to convert video files from my camera into the required format to post.
So folks, I'll start with a nice exclusive! This is the premiere of My Generation as performed by Babyshambles and Roger Daltrey in memory of the late Dan Squires ....
Hope this works.

Well hopefully you're now watching and enjoying. Video can't obviously convey the atmosphere of being in the room that night but it was undeniably special as I am sure anyone who was there will attest to. Sure it was a little rough around the edges, so what. One rehearsal folks .... shoot me you miserable buggers if it wasn't polished enough for you!

Roger was the one who actually hit the nail on the head when he said it was all about having fun and playing a bit of rock 'n' roll. It certainly was all of that and more.

Hope to have some more videos up sometime if this is successful but as this is my second attempt I wouldn't hold your breath. My technophobia is creeping back .... time to call the shrink!

In The Hallowed (Dining) Halls Of Academia.

Myself and Dr Adam Ficek were guest lecturers at James Watt College music business course today. I always have fun at these and get very well fed in return. For example, we were treated to lunch and never being one to miss a free feed I opted for a portion of everything on the canteen menu, but no pudding. Macaroni cheese, haggis, peas, a pie and a tasty fishcake. Hang on! I did have a pudding, a very creamy fudge doughnut. Yum.

The talk was fun.

Author's note: The fudge doughnuts pictured are merely representative of a fudge doughnut. The doughnut I had today was an Aulds' fudge doughnut and anyone with an ounce of sense will spot that these clearly aren't. I can only imagine that this is because Aulds spend their valuable time scaling the peaks of doughnut perfection rather than wasting it taking pictures of their superior and delicious savoury and sweet products. God bless you Bertie Auld! A lion of a man, a fine footballer, inventor of the steak stoater, a bhoy and a damn good baker!

Happiness In Ladies' Magazines.

As promised here's a couple of snaps from last night ....
Not great quality but I wasn't concentrating much.
There's one of Adam playing The Cafe Continental and the previously threatened shot of him having his haircut and reading a ladies' hairstyle magazine if you will. Please note the size of the bonce on Brendan who's cutting Adam's hair. It's quite immense. Still he did a fine job for a macrocephalic and no-one got hurt. Off to the local college now to have the piss ripped out of us by a bunch of spotty herberts who think they know music .... I'll be the judge of that you shower of rascals!

p.s. You might have noticed I am still getting the hang of posting photos so bear with me. I may even get to put up some video (exclusive to this blog) in the future if I actually figure out what the heck I am doing.

Sunday, 25 January 2009

Adam's Trip To Inverclyde.

Well Adam's about to get to get the full Inverclyde weather experience i.e. several different types of rain. Pity he didn't come yesterday when, although it was freezing cold, the skies were clear(ish) and the views of the Southern Highlands spectacular and the snow on the mountains beautiful. Still .... gotta get on with the show.
Waiting for the call on travel progress before making off to Greenock for the first engagement of the day, an in-store at Greenock's Rhythmic Records before the show this evening in Gourock. This one could be nice or not so nice. Adam's worried about his voice so a short but sweet set may be in order. It may be dead as dead can be which the Oak Mall (Greenock's shopping Mecca and shite magnet) often is on a Sunday. However I had a nice big piece in the local rag promoting the show so fingers crossed that diehards and younger fans who can't make the show later will show up and make him welcome. Still, it's a wee shop so even a small crowd will look healthy. I won't be booking any security for this one yet though.
Enough for the moment and no rest for the wicked even on a Sunday. There's a tour to set up!
More news / pics as I get them of the days events on their way. Hope it's a good one and if by some miracle the rain stops and the skies clear I'll take that as a portent of good things to come.

I've just posted my blog address on French Dog Blues and the thread somehow became a discussion about Adam Ficek's buttocks! Bah!

Well, Adam's ETA is 2.30 just in time for a wee session in Rhythmic. Still pishin' doon but let us not have our spirits dampened. We'll press on regardless!

In-store accomplished. Small but polite crowd there. Hung about eating pies and cakes while Adam chatted with a few fans. All good, the weathers even cleared up but that just means it'll be freezing tonight!

Well, all seemed to go quite well tonight. A pretty big crowd for a Sunday night in Gourock and everyone seemed to go away happy. It always puzzles me how some people can sit and talk the whole way through a song and then stop talking at the end to clap. Maybe I'm just crap at multi-tasking or maybe I'm just polite. If I want to natter I don't tend to go to nights which are primarily low key acoustic affairs and if I find myself at one I tend to keep my geggie shut. Maybe that's just me....

Och, anyway, had a good night. Tomorrow brings a talk by myself and Adam at James Watt College's music business course. I have given a few guest lectures there before to the next generation on the pitfalls and high spots of the music business. Should be interesting doing it with Adam. We agree on a lot of things in the business (in fact most) but it'll be fun to see the two different ways of expressing these thoughts to those who will one day fill our shoes or even maybe give us a job when we are on our uppers! The old days of a good pair of ears and business nous  getting you by alone are gone or are they.... A deft hand on a calculator may be one thing but if you cannae tell shit from shinola tune-wise you're still on a hiding to nothing so far as I am concerned.

Not many photos tonight but unless Adam pays me a ransom I'll stick up some photos of him having his haircut in Quigley's of Gourock, the finest salon in town! (ad break).

Added thanks to McD, Kristina, Alec and Liam T for making the night an enjoyable distraction from cold, wet January Gourock.

Saturday, 24 January 2009

First Blog Of My Life.

Hi Folks,
I have entered the world of blogging.
I may choose to do it regularly, sporadically, often or never again.
I may write random crap or insightful worldviews .... mostly random crap.
However I'll be using this as one more way perhaps of keeping fans of Babyshambles, Vaults and Peter Doherty up to date with goings on.
I'll be putting up news and tour dates / diaries, hopefully some nice photos as soon as get them from the shows and may also enjoy myself posting random thoughts, opinions, rants and raves about life in general.
Hope some of it is interesting to at least a few folks out there .... might be, might not, might have fun doing it, might not.
One never knows until one tries.